Help! My 2 year old son still does not sleep through the night. We have tried everything.?

21 November, 2008 at 2:21 am

We have a consistant bedtime routine that begins around 8:30 each night. We have a sugar-free snack, bath, and books. He goes to sleep (alone) very easily but wakes in a few hours usually screaming. We have tried to let him "self soothe" with no success. Several nights a week this turns into 2-3 hour panic stricken episode. Our peditrican shruggs it off and says he will outgrow it but is causes huge problems with waking our 5 month old who sleeps great. We have tried all kinds of white noise and even calmling music with no luck.

He was a premature infant and a very sick baby—wondering if any of this could contribute to his sleeping problems???

Open to any suggestions but trying to avoid any medications to help him sleep

Man, that's hard isn't it?

Have you thought about making his bed-time earlier? I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but sometimes it works. Try 20 minutes earlier or even 40 (sleep cycles work in 20 minute increments) and see how he does?

How much is he sleeping per 24 hours? I think 2 year olds need around 13 hours of sleep total (I can't remember for sure; I'll look it up and edit if necessary) If his nap is wonky it can affect his night time sleep. ***ETA: 2 year olds need 11-12 hours at night and a nap of 1-2 hours, so 12-14 hours total. So 13 is an average.***

Last, have you checked out _The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers_ by Elizabeth Pantley? I used some of her tips and techniques for my daughter and though it took a little while, we saw great results.

Good luck, you have my empathy!

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ksgoldfish67 said:

21 November, 2008 @ 8:02 am

It sounds like night terrors, and your ped is right, there's not much you can do…
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Frenzy said:

21 November, 2008 @ 8:39 am

let him cry it off.

you can tell a whiny cry from a scared cry.
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puppywimp said:

21 November, 2008 @ 9:17 am

listen to the doc, it will pass, be patient
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codiane99 said:

21 November, 2008 @ 10:05 am

When you wake up, it's usually either to go to the bathroom, or for a drink of water. (Night air makes me thirsty). Have you tried giving the child some water? They're just like us…humans…only smaller
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Jose L said:

21 November, 2008 @ 10:26 am

Does he wake to feed? Our twins did. We where finally told by our doctor that they where in perfect health and where only waking up a night because it was a habit. He told us to let them cry for 1 week and no matter what do not pick them up or give them the milk. I must say that week was awful for us. My wife cried and no one slept. Note this will be a very difficult week, you will be very tired, but after that the night are quiet. Suddenly we could not believe it there was silence on the 7th night. Then never woke up at night after that. (unless they where sick). Sounds harsh but it worked for us.
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Evin said:

21 November, 2008 @ 10:52 am

Man, that's hard isn't it?

Good luck, you have my empathy!
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rhoda said:

21 November, 2008 @ 11:01 am

He may have a tummy ache from eating that late…My son (18 months) eats dinner around 5:30 PM..and drinks a sippy of milk at 7 so its all settled when we put him to bed at 8:PM Then he sleeps all night…I noticed when he eats like at 7 or later he wakes up with gas..??? Maybe thats his problem going to bed with food on his stomach still..Does he have a passy?? It helps mine also he has a sounds maching that makes "White"noise..That helps dround out our sounds and keeps soothing him all night. But I noticed u already tried that. Just keep trying to let him self soothe like ur doing that is bout the only thing he can do..If you run straight in he'll know it will work everytime!!!!!! If it really gets bad I'd maybe talk to another ped. for some good advice..Good luck and I'll pray for it to get better for you..I know what sleepless nights can do!
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FLTeacher said:

21 November, 2008 @ 11:39 am

My 3 year old slept fine until we brought her baby sister home from the hospital. If the child is waking up screaming, he's not doing it to disturb your sleep. My philosophy is that whatever makes the child feel safe and gets everyone to sleep is the best strategy. Maybe when he wakes up you could let him come lay down with you in your bed so that he'll feel safe and know that you will respond to his needs right away. He will eventually sleep on his own, but at 2 years old he may still need to be near to you sometimes. Make sure when you tuck him in you tell him "I'll just be in my room sleeping if you need me" to reassure him that you're there for him.
If this is a new behavior that wasn't happening before, I would seriously consider what has changed in his life and could be causing this because a change like this could be a sign of something else going on.
If this is a common thing that he's always done, try making a chart or picture that has to do with something he really likes. For example, draw 3 ice cream cones. Tell him that for every night he has a "good sleep" you will color one in and when he does it three times, you will take him out for ice cream. Then do something bigger, like 5 nights to go to Chuck E. Cheese. Once he is in the habit, you don't have to reward him anymore.
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nunya said:

21 November, 2008 @ 12:23 pm

only thing i can come up with is that he is not full when he goes to bed..i have a one year old that sleeps all thru the nite and has since day one she was born..my last three were this way thank god..i make sure she is full at nite and she is still on a bottle..i put baby cereal in it to ensure she stays full at nite. and it has worked very well..she goes to bed at 830 maybe 9 pm and doesnt wake till 11 am sometimes later..if that doesnt work for you..he maybe having some tummy problems..i have a toy tug boat in her crib which plays music and lites up and she loves that ..she can turn it on and play music when she wants too..it has a lite on the ceiling as well..maybe collic try to rub some lotion on his back or sing to him..doesnt matter if you can or not they love it..must be tone deaf but my daughter loves it when we dance and sing..maybe get a second oppinion..thats all i can think of..i hope it works out for you..because you definately dont want to medicate they become dependant on it..and thats not good either…try rocking or reading to the child..either way..good luck..oh ps try giving him peppermint ..that calms a baby/childs tummy..i wish you luck…
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smhtoney29 said:

21 November, 2008 @ 1:06 pm

He will probably outgrow this soon - it is a common occurrence but that doesn't help you right now. I installed sound activated light switches in his room when my son was going through this so he could orient himself quickly when it happened. DO NOT let him scream it out, you will just prolong the episodes - imagine how you would feel if you awoke terrified and no one came….Try warm milk before he goes to bed and make sure you have a night light or a hall light on in case he wakes up.
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tired. said:

21 November, 2008 @ 1:15 pm

wow. i have a 2 almost 3 year old and i havent had that problem.. i mean, she is an active girl and when she cries in the middle of the night she complains about her leg.. why dont you simply ask the child what is wrong or what he needs? maybe some milk? some water? if not, maybe he is having bad dreams? try to minimize the graphic shows on t.v [if you watch the shows anyway] or maybe in the daytime, ask him what bothers him at night? talk about it with him!! it will also be great bonding time for you two. but if he has no explinations, then there really is nothing you can do but be patient… im SURE he will eventually out-grow this phase.

good luck to you.
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eric l said:

21 November, 2008 @ 1:32 pm

Take the fun out of the bed room. Make it kid friendly. Put a gate at the door. Set a routing. Set expectations. Tell your kid mom and dad have to stay in bed and do not get up when the kid howls.
You know the kid is fine because the room is secure. So just let the kid howl.
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My wife being a nanny for 18 years.

gabbied said:

21 November, 2008 @ 2:13 pm

my son used to go to be faithfully every night by 9pm and would not wake up in the middle of the night at all. than all of a sudden he started waking up crying and screaming 1-2 times a night. he now goes to bed about 10-10:30 and doesn't wake up at all.
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Lemurskin said:

21 November, 2008 @ 2:38 pm

Sounds like night terrors to me too. I just read something about this today (because my friend is going through a similar issue). If he is waking up around the same time each night then it was recommended you set your alarm for 10-15min before that time & wake him up. This way he'll have a partial awakening & skip the part of the sleep cycle where he gets night terrors. These should happen within the 1st half of the sleep cycle, in the Non-REM cycle. Your son will not have any recollection of these happening & may not appear to recognize you because he is basically still asleep.
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Toddler 411

malwilhist said:

21 November, 2008 @ 2:44 pm

If you're really concerned about it, take him to a second pediatrician or even a psychologist or sleep therapist. Night terrors are fairly common for young children. I'd suggest a white noise machine, fan, and soothing music on repeat for your 5 month old so that he/she can sleep through it. Is there a night light in the room? If not, put one in. If so, take one out. Experimenting with that might help. Is he waking at the same time each night? If he goes to bed and wakes up consistently at the same time, then I'd suggest tweaking the routine. Doctors suggest not giving snacks within a few hours of going to bed. Even though they might be sugar free, his body is still digesting them. I'd suggest cutting it out of his routine to see if it makes a difference. Try it for a week and see what happens. Maybe he's too warm or too cold. I'd experiment with one thing at a time until you've exhausted your possibilities. Good luck!
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